'Twas the night before OIT Day 1 . . . .

A letter to our sweet Brandon, on the night before we begin OIT . . . .

I'm upstairs in the office, packing my final things for our day-long adventure tomorrow.  It's late, but I wanted to capture this moment in time, because after tomorrow, things will hopefully be changing for you in an awesomely dramatic way. 😊 You have carried your food allergy for as long as you can remember.  Before you had your first reaction to peanut butter at age 2, we hadn't given you any other nut products, so you truly don't know a life *with* peanut butter, almonds, Nutella, Snickers, peanut M&Ms, Reese's, pistachios, etc.  We never had to go through the 'take away' phase with you, because you never had any of it to begin with!  That part was a blessing for sure.

But *not* being able to have any of those things either has been quite a burden for you to carry as you've grown up, I know.  I can't say that I know exactly how you feel, because I don't have this type of allergy myself.  But watching your caution, your awareness, and your fear of ingestion has been a tough thing to watch as your momma.

But what I want you to know is how immensely proud I am of you.  You have carried this 'invisible disability' with such grace and courage and strength.  I've seen your frustrations with it, I've helped dry the tears after a hard day at school with teasing, I've listened to you vent about how much you dislike your allergy, I've been your 'taste tester' to make sure foods were safe for you 😋 (you know Dad and I will always be there for you on that one!  😉), and I've been more than happy to help you navigate those tough conversations with friends or other adults about what you can and cannot have, what you can and cannot do.  Rest assured, my dear, that this allergy has made you stronger.  We've known from an early age that you were strong, persistent, and mature.  But oh how this allergy has refined those characteristics - and so many more - in you.  You are assertive, you are observant, you are brave, and you are strong.  While this allergy is something we are hoping we can lift from your shoulders through OIT, Dad and I would both agree that it has benefited you in some ways and helped make you who you are today.

You made a comment today that made me chuckle that I wanted to make sure to record.  This morning you said, "Today might be the last day in my life where I will never NOT eat a peanut."  Wow.  So true, my dear!!  Starting tomorrow, you'll be on a journey of eating peanuts - however minuscule we may start tomorrow - for the foreseeable future, until your body hopefully stops fighting against them.  Oh, the hope your Dad and I have for this to work, bud!  We have been praying and praying and researching and praying and researching and praying some more.  We feel like God hasn't put up a big stop sign for us yet, and so we proceed.  With caution, with a bit of trepidation, and with a whole lot of hope that in just a few short months, your life will dramatically change for the better.  And if this doesn't work for you, then you know what, we'll pray for understanding and acceptance that this wasn't your time to do this.

We love you more than you know, Brandon.  Go get 'em tomorrow!

Love ya,
Mom and Dad

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