Being a Food Allergy Family

As I mentioned in my first post, our oldest son, Brandon (now 11 y/o), was diagnosed with a peanut allergy when he was 2.  At the time he was born, the line of thinking among medical professionals was to ‘wait until they were 2’ to introduce peanuts and other nut products.  So, being the rule followers that we are 😉, my husband and I did as we were told and waited until that magical 2^nd birthday.  On his second ingestion of peanut butter, he broke out in hives from the neck up. 😞  As relatively new parents ourselves – along with a 3 month old baby at home – my husband and I were more than a bit panicked at this outcome!  We gave him some Benadryl, drove him to the hospital, and thankfully, he did not go into anaphylactic shock.  That dose of Benadryl thankfully calmed down the hives, and we were sent home. 

With a million and one questions.

What all is he allergic to?  What other types of reactions can we expect?  Can we still eat at Chick-fil-a since they fry with peanut oil?  (I mean come on, let’s ask the really important questions!! 😉 )  What about all of those labels on packaged food that say “processed in a facility that also handles peanuts and tree nuts”?  The life of a food allergy parent is confusing, overwhelming, and scary.  You immediately go into ‘protect’ mode and become hyper-vigilant.  Suffice it to say, our world was turned upside down in that one day.

We’ve had a handful of allergists for Brandon over the years.  All have been fine, but we’ve never become ‘attached’ to any one allergist.  We’ve done skin testing a few times to determine what all he is allergic to, as well as blood draws.  (Let’s just say that NEITHER is a walk in the park with a young child!)  And every year, our ‘schedule’ goes something like this:

• ·         Get his EpiPens or AuviQs refilled (usually through his pediatrician, rather than having to schedule a secondary visit at the allergist)
• ·         Carry one set of those and two doses of Benadryl with us at all times
• ·         Send an identical set to school for him, ‘just in case,’ in the nurse’s office
• ·         Sign the forms every school year that ask his classmates to not bring peanuts to the classroom
• ·         Make sure the parent, grandparent, or adult with Brandon has a set of his medicines with them too (mine is always in my purse, and we have a ‘travel set’ too.)

  

I share all of this, not to complain, but to shed a bit of light on ‘what it takes’ to be a food-allergy family. All of this is a lot for a young soul to handle, and for those who know Brandon well, he carries this weight with grace and confidence, but inside, he’s forever watching who is eating what, who has washed their hands after eating nuts of any sort, and I know it’s something he wishes he didn’t have to deal with.  And honestly, who can blame him? 

Then there's also the 'intangible' side of life with food allergies . . . . the feelings of isolation from others (I'll have to tell y'all how Brandon handles the lunch room sometime - he's turned it into a 'win' for him for sure!), the negative peer pressure and teasing that come from uninformed classmates, the discomfort of having to ask me or a friend's parent "what is in that?" before eating something, the tears we have to work through after a tough day at school from time to time. . . . the list of the intangibles is much longer than the tangibles.

Part of our faith as Catholics is to teach our children to ‘carry their crosses’ with faith and confidence in God’s grace to help them.  We have done just that for Brandon with this ‘cross’ for him, and we talk often about how this has taught him to be more assertive to speak up for himself, more confident, and to have a heart for others in this same situation . . . . . life skills that may not be as ‘honed’ if it weren’t for his food allergy.  Some of those talks with him about his food allergy will forever be etched into my ‘mommy memory bank,’ but still, what elementary aged child would rather not have to talk about this kind of stuff?  Umm, all of them. 

Take Halloween for example.  It’s supposed to be a carefree night for kids to go door to door, ask for candy, and then go home and devour it until their tummies hurt. 😊 🎃  Since he can remember, though, Halloween has always been an ‘okay’ holiday for Brandon.  He loves to dress up and hang out with some awesome neighbor friends we have, but how would you feel – especially as a child – walking up to a door, saying those magical “trick or treat” words, and then looking down into your bucket, only to see something that could potentially send you into anaphylactic shock?  

That’s just one example, but scenarios like this are everywhere for kids who have food allergies.  Classroom parties (where food is now usually prohibited due to the overabundance of food allergies), birthday parties, the lunchroom, sleepovers, baseball games with peanut shells being thrown right at your feet, airplane flights, frozen yogurt outings . . . . food allergy vigilance never.goes.away.  You can never let your guard down, out of fear that the time you do will be ‘the time’ your child has a reaction. 

Through the testing we’ve had done for Brandon over the years, we’ve come to find out the list of things he IS allergic to (peanuts, nearly all tree nuts, and sesame), and also the things he’s NOT allergic to.  We’ve come to learn that he can have something that is labeled “processed in a facility that also handles peanuts and/or tree nuts," as long as one of his allergens is not on the ingredient list, thankfully.  Some children with food allergies cannot, some can.  It’s all continuum, and your doctors have to advise you on what is best for your child, based on testing.  But for any child with any food allergy, having to avoid just one food it one too many.  We, as a society, don’t know the cause of food allergies, and many are working furiously to figure that out.  But in the meantime, we live the life of prevention, and thankfully, Brandon has not had a second reaction in almost 9 years. 🙌 

We are currently 19 days away from the start of OIT!!  We are all excited and hopeful and a bit scared around here.  I’ll share some of the steps that lead up to OIT in my next post, for those who are curious about what it takes to get started.  Until then . . . .

~Momma Knows Best